In memory of our sweet baby #2

My dear friends...........

As I was happily recorded the first video of my 3.5 mont old baby's strong, steady heartbeat and long hands, legs like his/her daddy on this Thuresday morning at my O.B doctor's office...This turned out to be our last..and only memory record we have for our 2nd baby who gave us so much joys and dreams.

I realized that from heaven to hell...is just one ultrasound's distance.. as I went for the regular check up in the ultrasound center on this Thuresday afternoon..the doctor informed me that the fetus doesn't have a brain (a condition known as
anencephaly) and it has no chance of survival. It's a condition due to pure luck.....he called it an "unfortunate" of "fortunate"..and even though the baby is still growing strong in me..there is no chance...if there is no leg..no hand...there is chance..no brain...what can I do...I think God made a big joke with me..and for some reason, I have hard time to laugh about it but feeling very broken..and wish no one would ever have this kind of "luck" like I do..

Today is my last day of being a mom for my #2 baby.since the doctor already arranged the termination procedure on tomorrow morning. I am trying to remember every last minute of being mommy of my number 2 baby who I will never have a chance to meet...

I hope...I wish..we will still have the luck to have a healthy baby one day..as for now..I am just very grateful that I still have Nathan. We are lucky to have Nathan, even if he may be our only child for our life.

I am very sorry to share this bad news with you all but sinceI won't have a good news to announce later on..I'd better just tell you now and let our baby number 2 to say goodbye to all..my little baby is not ready to join us yet..and hopefully..hopefully one day..my #2 baby will decide to come back to joint mommy, daddy and big brother Nathan again from heaven.

Andrea